So You Think You Can Dance

The once great city of Bombay continues its inexorable descent into a Cesspit State of Mind even as men dressed in uniform the colour of human excrement decide to become the arbiters of decent dancing in the city. This, following the raising of the age for drinking hard liquor to 25, banning women from serving in bars and restaurants after 9.30pm, forced shutting of hookah bars and the Thackeray Brigade trying to upset the screening of Karan Johar’s limp-wristed soft-on inducer My Name Is Khan last year, is another example of the relentless march towards the fifteenth century that self-appointed guardians of the city are propounding. Good fun.

Turns out, a bunch of young people were hanging at Oro in Malad (W), most of them call centre employees – that great mass of shredder-fodder that drives India towards a New Dawn and thing – who were letting up after a hard night’s work. Sadhu Mahesh Patil, DCP (Zone 11) of the Mumbai Police decided that this was not cricket and upped and landed up. There he was witness to the sort of decadence that got souls kicked out of the Fifth Circle of Hell. To quote an aghast Patil, “Someone was falling on the floor, someone was getting picked up and I perceived it as indecent so I decided to raid the place." A den of iniquity of there ever was one.

And so young Mahesh did only what was best: he ratted out the management and, just to make sure the message was splashed on the walls with the blood of outrage, picked up 70-odd youngsters from there, herded them to the Malad police station, sat them down on his knee and told them to behave themselves and not fall on the floor or get picked up, for that was the work of the devil and they would beget syphilis if they did. Reliable sources say he was wagging an admonishing finger at them.

And now the righteously indignant youth of the city is wagging a finger back at blameless Mahesh, though I don't think it's the same one he wagged. Some of them plan to file a PIL against him and the rest of the police. Others have got ahead of themselves and are approaching Maria Susairaj for an encore. This promises to go right to the wire. Beware Mahesh, the hordes are coming.