So my friend missmalini – the ubiquitous, irrepressible and ever-happy Malini Agarwal – asked all her men friends, including myself, to help her write an article for Vogue. She wanted to edify the dame folk of Bombay and beyond about what men would like to see women wearing. So I thought to write, “Very little”, but being the pedant that I am, I added a little to that terse comment and let heave with the rusty brain. And got to thinking: what do I want women to wear?
I think the best thing anybody can wear are abstracts – a nice smile, a great attitude, her heart on her sleeve. And very little else. And the best dressed are those who wear what they think looks good on them. I like women who adopt an understated sartorial elegance. Someone who, despite her youth, can be comfortable in a cotton sari. The whole idea of ostentation puts me off, so simple yet elegant goes well. Though I usually look at women’s clothes to see how well they go with my floor, if they insist on wearing something, these are a few ensembles that I like to see:
* Cotton sari – regular wear
* Those cotton FabIndia pajamas and a ganji/vest/singlet
* No heels
* Shorts and T-shirt with gladiator sandals
* LBD but no heels
* Bright floral summer dress
* Did I mention no heels?
* Anything easy to take off
* G-strings (only)
* No heels
What I don’t like seeing women in are:
* Bikinis if you don’t have a body for it
* Tank tops with your stomachs oozing out
* Heels
* Low-waist jeans if you’re going to keep showing me your arse-crack
That’s about it.
Why the aversion to heels? I feel the same way about them that I feel about whalebone corsets and Chinese footbinding. No amount of looking good justifies self-flagellation. And I just can’t bear to see a woman tottering about on half a square millimetre of leather surface just so that it makes her look good. And I like pretty feet, so any that look like they’ve been through some machinery are a total turn-off. So there.
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